A Journal Entry
15 March 2023 @ 18:27
Written in my journal after driving to Arizona for a young friend's Celebration of Life.
'Sometimes I think that God is like a sideshow oddity. You don’t want to look, but when you finally do, you can’t look away, and then I feel guilty of thinking of God in this way. But then I think about God in the distressing disguise of the poor, the sick and the needy and I realize that’s exactly how he is. Then I meet those in this journey like Thomas, and I believe that God didn’t try very hard to disguise himself. As much as my family questioned this journey, I did as well. But after driving over 2000 miles and then standing before all of those folks at Thomas’s celebration of life, and simply singing one song, I better understood. To have Thomas’s mother take my hands and look in my eyes and tell me how much joy she found in finally getting to meet me touched me deeply. She spoke of Thomas’s love for me. To then be welcomed into the Harris’s cabin in Groom Creek, and to sit with that family and to break bread, laugh and to sing brought overwhelming joy to this old soul. I don’t get to do what I do because of my goodness. I get to do what I do because God is God and he is a God of mercy and grace who, yes, will use even someone like me.'
'Sometimes I think that God is like a sideshow oddity. You don’t want to look, but when you finally do, you can’t look away, and then I feel guilty of thinking of God in this way. But then I think about God in the distressing disguise of the poor, the sick and the needy and I realize that’s exactly how he is. Then I meet those in this journey like Thomas, and I believe that God didn’t try very hard to disguise himself. As much as my family questioned this journey, I did as well. But after driving over 2000 miles and then standing before all of those folks at Thomas’s celebration of life, and simply singing one song, I better understood. To have Thomas’s mother take my hands and look in my eyes and tell me how much joy she found in finally getting to meet me touched me deeply. She spoke of Thomas’s love for me. To then be welcomed into the Harris’s cabin in Groom Creek, and to sit with that family and to break bread, laugh and to sing brought overwhelming joy to this old soul. I don’t get to do what I do because of my goodness. I get to do what I do because God is God and he is a God of mercy and grace who, yes, will use even someone like me.'